We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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