he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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