Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
they need to just BURY HIM!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
