did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
