I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
