that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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