Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
