i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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