All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
