every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
