her vagine was all disorganized.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
