He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize