1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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