He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
