I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize