Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
