your thong is hanging out like whoa
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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