Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?

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(630): View more from Illinois

My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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(845): View more from New York

i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.

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(319): View more from Iowa

i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines

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(763): View more from Minnesota

using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus

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(309): View more from Illinois

I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON

(309): View more from Illinois

THE MOOOOOOOON

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(801): View more from Utah

And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's

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