My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
