Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
