best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
