So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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