his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
