After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
