Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
