just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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