So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
