I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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