real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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