you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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