Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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