So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
