She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Drunk is not a location!
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