I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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