I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
