I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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