So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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