you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize