Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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