the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize