We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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