i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
