I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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