belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
