It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
