Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
