u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
