Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
