"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
