Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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