I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think my tv is drunk
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
