too bad you live with your parents still
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize