Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
