i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
