I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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