I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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