pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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