You're completely useless in the revolution.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
