So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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