Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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