I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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