yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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