you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
